1. Think about a situation in your work or personal life that frustrates you and that you tend to respond to reactively. Briefly describe this situation:
In work or personal life, I have too many tasks that I want to do AND that others want me to do. I too often react to the moods, desires, actions of others. After a period of time; I feel badly about what I hadn’t accomplished rather than feel pride or satisfaction about what I had accomplished.
2. Identify some of the “hot buttons” that trigger a reactive response in you.
Being interrupted
Being yelled at
Being ridiculed
Being ignored
Being expected to do something w/o any appreciation/validation/concern for me
Being asked/told something, not knowing whether it’s a question or a statement, then being chastised for not responding appropriately
When someone asks a loaded question (one that infers a questionable fact)
When someone uses condescending words, tone or body language
When someone responds negatively to something I’ve said (or more so, incorrectly thinks I’ve said)
When someone takes advantage of me
When someone ignores me or acts like I'm air
When someone treats me poorly, then reacts angrily when I object.
When someone imposes expectations on me that are not welcome
3. Identify the circumstances, mood, or feelings that contribute to your reactive responses.
ANGRY, DEPRESSED, CONFUSED, HELPLESS, AFRAID, HURT, SAD
4. List which situations you can directly affect in your circle of influence.
When I am interrupted; sudden or fast speech; too-quick back and forth conversation; loud or inaudible speech
breathe, then either attempt to continue conversation OR think about what was just said, then respond.
When someone asks a loaded question (one that infers a questionable fact)
Either say, "I don't know how to respond to that question" OR "Your question suggests: For me to answer may falsely make you think I agree". THEN, answer the questions only responding to the piece that makes me feel safe.
When someone uses condescending words, tone or body language
Go braindead / breathe
When someone takes advantage of me
If I had no hand in it, ignore it. If I did, identify that and remember for next time.
When someone ignores me or acts like I'm air
Go braindead / breathe
When someone treats me poorly, then reacts angrily when I object.
Go braindead / breathe, but DON'T feel bad for speaking up for yourself.
When someone imposes expectations on me that are not welcome
Go braindead / breathe
uncomfortably warm room temperature
turn down temp; move to where it’s cooler
5. Identify what situations are only a part of your circle of concern.
Whitney and Jordyn have shown (and I expect, will continue to show) no interest in having a meaningful relationship with me.
Cheryl will continue to parent them as she always has. She will continue to interject whenever I attempt to respond to their negative behavior.
People will continue to approach me at their convenience to satisfy their needs, wants and wishes.
I have A.D.D. I have poor memory. I can’t get rid of it.
6. Consider your Circle of Influence at work, at home, and in the community. Identify a specific situation in which you could become a transition figure.
If you BELIEVE IT, you can achieve it!
Professional: Create an elementary technology program that enables students to believe they can communicate and solve problems using technology
Professional: Create a school website that showcases student achievement AND provides a communication portal for both local and global communities
Professional: Inspire and empower students to go beyond what they know to better themselves and their world.
Personal:
7. Explain the steps you will take to become a transition figure in this situation and the results you anticipate.
Mission Statement: 1. I will act in a manner that brings out the best in me and those important to me – especially when it might be most justifiable to act otherwise. 2. I will remember that to truly live, I must climb the mountain today, for tomorrow may be too late. I know that my mountain may seem no more than a hill to others and I will accept that. 3. I will be renewed by my own personal victories and triumphs. 4. I will strive to keep commitments not only to others but to myself as well. 5. I will, for as long as possible, keep my mind and body healthy and strong. 6. In my family, I will build healthy, loving relationships in which we let each other become our best selves. 7. To never react to abuse by passing it on. 8. To be driven by values and beliefs. 9. To treat all people with kindness and respect. 10. To say thanks to LIFE in some way, every day. 11. My goals are to achieve a position of respect and knowledge, to utilize that position to help others, and t o play an active role in a public service organization. 12. Finally, to go through life with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye.
1. Think about a situation in your work or personal life that frustrates you and that you tend to respond to reactively. Briefly describe this situation:
- In work or personal life, I have too many tasks that I want to do AND that others want me to do. I too often react to the moods, desires, actions of others. After a period of time; I feel badly about what I hadn’t accomplished rather than feel pride or satisfaction about what I had accomplished.
2. Identify some of the “hot buttons” that trigger a reactive response in you.- Being interrupted
- Being yelled at
- Being ridiculed
- Being ignored
- Being expected to do something w/o any appreciation/validation/concern for me
- Being asked/told something, not knowing whether it’s a question or a statement, then being chastised for not responding appropriately
- When someone asks a loaded question (one that infers a questionable fact)
- When someone uses condescending words, tone or body language
- When someone responds negatively to something I’ve said (or more so, incorrectly thinks I’ve said)
- When someone takes advantage of me
- When someone ignores me or acts like I'm air
- When someone treats me poorly, then reacts angrily when I object.
- When someone imposes expectations on me that are not welcome
3. Identify the circumstances, mood, or feelings that contribute to your reactive responses.- ANGRY, DEPRESSED, CONFUSED, HELPLESS, AFRAID, HURT, SAD
4. List which situations you can directly affect in your circle of influence.- When I am interrupted; sudden or fast speech; too-quick back and forth conversation; loud or inaudible speech
- breathe, then either attempt to continue conversation OR think about what was just said, then respond.
- When someone asks a loaded question (one that infers a questionable fact)
- Either say, "I don't know how to respond to that question" OR "Your question suggests: For me to answer may falsely make you think I agree". THEN, answer the questions only responding to the piece that makes me feel safe.
- When someone uses condescending words, tone or body language
- Go braindead / breathe
- When someone takes advantage of me
- If I had no hand in it, ignore it. If I did, identify that and remember for next time.
- When someone ignores me or acts like I'm air
- Go braindead / breathe
- When someone treats me poorly, then reacts angrily when I object.
- Go braindead / breathe, but DON'T feel bad for speaking up for yourself.
- When someone imposes expectations on me that are not welcome
- Go braindead / breathe
- uncomfortably warm room temperature
- turn down temp; move to where it’s cooler
5. Identify what situations are only a part of your circle of concern.- Whitney and Jordyn have shown (and I expect, will continue to show) no interest in having a meaningful relationship with me.
- Cheryl will continue to parent them as she always has. She will continue to interject whenever I attempt to respond to their negative behavior.
- People will continue to approach me at their convenience to satisfy their needs, wants and wishes.
- I have A.D.D. I have poor memory. I can’t get rid of it.
6. Consider your Circle of Influence at work, at home, and in the community. Identify a specific situation in which you could become a transition figure.- If you BELIEVE IT, you can achieve it!
- Professional: Create an elementary technology program that enables students to believe they can communicate and solve problems using technology
- Professional: Create a school website that showcases student achievement AND provides a communication portal for both local and global communities
- Professional: Inspire and empower students to go beyond what they know to better themselves and their world.
- Personal:
7. Explain the steps you will take to become a transition figure in this situation and the results you anticipate.Mission Statement:
1. I will act in a manner that brings out the best in me and those important to me – especially when it might be most justifiable to act otherwise.
2. I will remember that to truly live, I must climb the mountain today, for tomorrow may be too late. I know that my mountain may seem no more than a hill to others and I will accept that.
3. I will be renewed by my own personal victories and triumphs.
4. I will strive to keep commitments not only to others but to myself as well.
5. I will, for as long as possible, keep my mind and body healthy and strong.
6. In my family, I will build healthy, loving relationships in which we let each other become our best selves.
7. To never react to abuse by passing it on.
8. To be driven by values and beliefs.
9. To treat all people with kindness and respect.
10. To say thanks to LIFE in some way, every day.
11. My goals are to achieve a position of respect and knowledge, to utilize that position to help others, and t o play an active role in a public service organization.
12. Finally, to go through life with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye.